"Mom-bot"

Japan has invented life-like robots, complete with facial expressions and human-esque behaviors. Way to go, Japan! I'd like to order one that looks like me, and program the following phrases into it, to be repeated 500 times a day, to my children:


1. Stop whining.

2. No, Christmas is not today, nor will it be tomorrow. And Halloween is a year away.

3. A year is a very, very long time.

4. That sign on the road means _________ . (insert a variety of logical responses)

5. Evan, no flushing paper cups/marbles/wad after wad of toilet paper down the toilet.

6. Get back at the table and finish your meal.

7. I know that you don't like it, but you need to try it anyway.

8. Evan, stop rubbing food in your hair.

9. The songs "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", "Go To Sleep", and "In the Jungle"-complete with wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-um-um-away. (We have to sing these every night before they'll go to bed)

10. Evan, no touching _____________. (insert products--usually associated with candy or balls-- at a variety of regularly frequented stores)

11. No, you cannot have more _________. (insert candy, apples, television, popcorn, popsicles, snacks, chips, pop, or strawberries)

12. No, we aren't there yet.

13. I don't know how that works, Wesley.

14. Go bug Daddy.

15. Don't _________ the cats! (insert bug, squish, chase, grab, carry, scare, and hit)

16. Evan, no kicking Mommy while she changes your diaper.

17. Evan, stop wiggling while I change your diaper.

18. Evan, come back here so I can get your diaper on.

19. No, Wesley, you can't wear your pajamas backwards.

20. Evan, take those marbles out of your mouth.

21. Wanting cars to crash just so you can see more police cars is not very nice.

22. Yes, Mommy is silly.

23. Please, please, please put your shoes on, right now!

24. One....two....two-and-a-half....THREE! That's it!

25. Yah, Uh-huh, I know, yep, neat, cool, and any other non-committal phrases that make it sound like I'm listening to every single word that Wesley says, because he requires validation of them all.

26. Evan, stop throwing _____ at Wesley. (insert projectiles here--and be creative)

27. Dumping toys is not playing.

28. Do you need to go poo-poo?

29. Yes, Daddy is a good fixer.

30. Share!
And finally,

31. Did you know that Mommy loves you?



Actually, now that I think of it, I'll save that last phrase for myself.